65000 words! WHAT?

This is exactly how I feel right now.
Hold your horses, how is that even possible? I mean, I was at 40000 yesterday right? Or was that really twenty five days ago? HOW??? Where has the time gone, and why don't I remember living those twenty five days? Its like I just blinked, and a month of my life disappeared. Boom! Kaput. Nada. 
I vaguely remember writing every morning, and feeling like I was going so slow and I would NEVER get to 50000....and then, somehow, I am at 65000. Time warp anyone?
I've been writing steadily everyday, for what, three months now? Minus the fourteen days I spent in Colorado (which was awesome, by the way).  
If I blink now, will I suddenly be at 90000 words? *blink* nope. Didn't work. 
But I almost forgot, I should be congratulating myself and saying yay, right? Somehow, I am not feeling very excited. I know that I should be. I know that its really cool that I am at 65000. I know I should be dancing happily. But I'm not. Odd, when I reached 60000, I did a victory dance in my room. And now, blah, who cares? 65000? That's nothing. 

Its also interesting when I am trying to remember exactly what a character said, and I look back in the beginning of the book to figure it out, and then it amazes me how horrible my writing was in the beginning. There is no way to win. No matter how good something is, in two weeks it just looks HORRIBLE. Which means I'm getting better....I guess?
The nice thing is, whenever I am feeling down about my writing, I just go back and look at first drafts. And suddenly I feel like a genius, by comparison to what I used to be. For instance, in first drafts, I had Nefru say an entire sentence, in all caps. I mean....how on earth did I think that was acceptable??? In a blog post, where it is just me talking, THEN it is okay....but in a BOOK????? 

Another piece of good news. Reniseb and Ukani finally kissed already. I kept on telling her to kiss him, or tell him that she loves him, but NOOOOO! Reniseb has to have "problems" andshe has to be shy. She has to be really sweet. She has to not want to make him uncomfortable. I used to think she was so smart, and now I realize that she is a very intelligent idiot. A long long time ago, when I was JUST starting second drafts, and friend described Reniseb as the most intelligent stupid person she knows. Or it might have been stupidest smart person. I don't actually remember her exact words, but you get the point. At the time, I thought it was a pretty good description, but I was slightly miffed that she thought Reni was stupid. Now I realize how right she was. 
AND, Nefru and Co. are finally at the stupid Bahariya Oasis, and tomorrow, they find the shrine. At long last. It only took them three months. 
Its funny, when I was writing Ukani being sick for two months, it seemed to take forever, but now that I think about it, its only two chapters or so. Funny the way that works. 

Everyone is changing, and its kind of sad. Mendes, Reniseb, and Tseskos were all like children when the book began, and now they are all grown up. MY BABIES!!! Who are mostly older than me....
Actually, Mendes is only two months older than me, so its not THAT weird. He is fifteen, and his birthday is in November. Its really strange to write the character of a mature, grown man (who is sometimes young and adorable and naive) and then suddenly remember that he is actually the same age as you. But in the time that the book is set in, boys were pretty much expected to be grown up by age 13. Probably caused by the fact that fathers usually died while their sons were still in their teens. I mean, think about it. Most people back then didn't live terribly long. And most guys were about thirty when they married sixteen year old girls (back then, that was not nearly as weird as it would be now). Which means that most fathers, if they were extremely lucky, didn't see their sons pass thirty. Depressing? Why yes, it is. 
Its really sad if you imagine how long Reniseb is going to have to live without Ukani. I mean, Ukani is about 28-29, and Reniseb is 16. Ever notice how 29 sounds SO much younger than 30? Not to mention that women usually lived longer than men anyway. Ah! Sweet love! This book is so much more romantic if you don't think about these things. 

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