The Romantic Comedy of Reniseb and Ukani

For some reason, reading my first draft sends me into a fit of giggles, so I'm sharing some of these beautifully horrible gems from Reniseb's relationship with Ukani. A quote from Reniseb accurately describes some of my thoughts when reading this draft:
"What had happened? Oh! Why didn’t anything make any sense? What did it all mean?"



Ukani was tall and wiry, he stared at me and didn’t talk to me.

And it was then that I knew, he was the man of my dreams!


“Now then, Reniseb. For your punishment, you must make me another grass rope for me to tie you up with.” I ducked my head and obediently picked some grass. We chatted happily for a while, I don’t really know what we spoke of, but I enjoyed it. Every moment with him was bliss, except when he ruined it. Which was most of the time.


So romantic.




I just buried my face in his shoulder and closed my eyes. He didn’t know it, but I was the happiest girl in the world just then. Almost. If I could have been sure that he took as much pleasure in holding me, as I did in being held by him, my happiness would be complete.
.......Why? 




“Never let yourself be distracted by hurt pride,” Ukani said softly; then he stood and then left.

I looked down at the cloth in my lap, remembering the feel of his hands on mine. They were rougher than they had looked. And harder than I had thought possible for hands to be, but they had been gentle as if they were handling a baby. Perhaps they were. For I felt very much like a baby among these men who were so sure of themselves; so able to care for themselves. And me.
I have no words. Clearly.



“You know,” I said, changing the subject, “you should talk to people more.”

“Why?” 

“Because you're—nice.” I blushed. 

How people talk when they're in love.




“So—uh….have you known Nefru long?” I wanted to slap myself.



We all want you to slap yourself, Reniseb. Also, lessons from Reniseb in talking to your crush. 

And one bonus quote:
“HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY LOYALTY! THERE ARE SOME MEN LEFT IN THE LAND WHO CANNOT BE BOUGHT NO MATTER HOW GREAT THE PRICE, THOUGH THAT IS MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR SOME WOMEN!” Nefru shouted at me, I winced at every word.
So did I, my dear, so did I. So much wincing. 
Hopefully everyone feels better about their writing now. 













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(all of it, I want to know everything you think about....wait no, that's creepy)